How to get along with your roommate
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Why is it important to get along?
A roommate is an important person to be friendly with. They don't have to be your best bud, but if there are constant issues between you, that one relationship can be a serious thorn in your side. On the other hand, if you are good friends, that relationship can be a valuable part of your social life!
Rommmate 101
- Start out on the right foot! If you aren't sure of what the 'groundrules' are for living together (like who cleans what, taking care of common spaces, you have to ask to talk about them. Do this when you move in, or when this person moves in with you. This is the time to say what you like and don't like to do; maybe you find your roommate loves to dust and you hate to dust: perfect! Or, maybe you find that you both hate to clean bathrooms. This will be good practice in the art of compromise-maybe you will decide to take turns. Most importantly, don't let this kind of thing 'build up': talk about it from the start and set the tone for living together!
- It is important to talk about expectations. Say you like things in the kitchen really clean, but your roommate is in charge of cleaning the kitchen, and it is not up to snuff. You have two options: persuade the roommate to clean the kitchen more/more often....or, swap your dusting duty for kitchen cleaning. It is easier to do the latter, as it means you are not going to be expecting your roommate's standards to change a lot.
Communication Skills
- When you talk to your roommate about expectations, disagreements, etc, it will be most helpful if you stay positive!
- Try to not to say "BUT" and use "I statements" that say what you feel without commenting on what problem you think the other person has. Saying "I like this BUT" is like not having said "I like this" at all. instead of saying "I like how you organize the XYZ BUT I can't find my CDs" say "I like that you organize the XYZ and I'd like to know how you do it so I can find my CDs"
Basic Roommate Rules
- Clean up after yourself. Don't expect someone else to do it for you!
- Don't use or borrow stuff that isn't yours without asking first.
- Be courteous: if your roommate goes to bed, turn the TV down a bit.
- Be honest: if YOU go to bed early, and your roommate is listening to music or something else kind of loud, ask them to turn it down.
- Golden Rule Rules: treat your roommate the way you would want to be treated.....
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